Boring Season (Pt. I)

Though it drove my husband crazy at first, he has now embraced the way I have dubbed this time of year in reference to our media consumption Boring Season. My husband, Jay, is an indie filmmaker and cinephile. Even outside his personal craft, his family used to bet on which movies would win at the Oscars for which categories, and I think there was also much debate in the group chats about the Golden Globes, etc. To be honest, I had never actively watched any of these awards shows before we got toegther - I was aware of them because they exist, but no other reason. I love movies, but I really couldn't care less about what is considered awards-worthy. Also I find rich people insufferable, and question their ability to asses artistic merit. How could a room full of obnoxious millionaires decide what is good for me? Sometimes, despite having went to the theatre countless times and supporting film with my dollar, I hadn't managed to consume any cinema at all (allegedly, as nothing I enjoyed was nominated). I was, and remain, unbothered about what that says about my tastes. Boring Season is upon us once again, and so begins the delluge of putting FILMS into my eyeballs. My compromise for my regularly schedulled not giving a fuck and the continual crime of forcing my filmmaker husband to be seated in the theatre for such classics as Beekeeper with Jason Statham, The Meg I & II also with Jason Statham, Working Man with Jason Statham (oh no do I have a Jason Statham problem? No, it is the Academy who is Wrong) is to spend the next month catching up on the groundbreaking cinema I have not bothered with all year. I do have sooooommmeee agency, in that I can pick from the list any material I may be interested in. Unfortunately, I have learned that my instincts for all of those prior years were mostly correct- awards are given by out of touch geriatric now-billionaires who circle-jerk other wealthy and equally insufferable directors who create overlong motion pictures which produce primarily moans of abject pain from my spot on the couch. Feel bad for Jay, who every year after me inevitably not finishing the list, is subject to a long series of lamentations to the effect of, "maybe I just don't even like movies anymore." I'm sure, given that is his purpose and passion in life, hearing that from your spouse must give you at least a grey hair.

This year I am happy to report that I LIKED SOME FILMS. I would like to share what we watched so far that really worked for me! A Note on Previous Boring Season Wins: Last year, when Godzilla Minus One recieved awards, I lived off the hype and amount that people in my life asked me Godzilla questions. Folks wanted to watch Godzilla movies. What a high! A couple years prior, Bong Joon Ho, one of my favourite filmmakers, won multiple Oscars and I drew so many cartoons of him making them kiss. Treat yourself to The Host, his South Korean Kaiju film. So sometimes, your little trans weirdo does get to see movies he likes get celebrated. It does happen.

ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

It's comedy, it's action, it's a commentary on the beaurocracy of both military industrial racist conservatism and the systems that hope to oppose it! Propulsive, delicious, and occasionaly insane, it had a good amount of human fuck-uppery and convincing interpersonal conflict. The characters were quirky but sympathetic (besides y'know Sean Penn as the villain who was punchable the whole time).

I enjoyed this despite my inherent ick about Leonardo DiCaprio- he made a good less-effectual version of The Dude (Big Lebowski). Jay swooned over Benecio del Toro, who we both agree is the secret sauce here. Teyana Taylor... what the fuck, so powerful and sexy and her being sexy is a plot point so I won't even get into it. Chase Infiniti won a Golden Globe for her performance and this will be a rare case when I agree with an award- she was carrying so much of this on her shoulders and never fumbles a look or a line.

I won't say this is a perfect score from me. Sometimes the scenes overstay their welcome, and some of the social commentary is too heavy-handed. The cinemetography is good but not remarkable. However, I would reccomend it to most people, which is something I can't say for maaaaany Boring Season watches. Best enjoyed with a few small beers.

NO OTHER CHOICE

Men will do anything except go to therapy (or accept a career change). A bloodthirsty satire on the oversaturated job market in an unemployment crisis, this movie is a treat. I love a quirky murder comedy. The scenery in this movie is absolutely delicious, every setting is lush from the beautiful house Man-soo is trying to keep to the factory floor he is desperate to return to. The lighting is consistently ethereal. The shots are careful, funny, chilling- the camera is where it needs to be to pull feeling from the audience. Park Chan-wook is a master of craft. No Other Choice didn't need to look half as good to be effective, but it does, and regularly made me feel elated to be in a theatre. Amazing character work by everyone on this cast- Lee Beyung-hun, Soon Ye-jin, Lee Sung-min, & Yeom Hye-ran are all addictively watchable. Sometimes a performance goes over the top into the point of cartoonish-ness, but never did it take me out of the desperation of the protagonists' situation. This was held together by the grounding glue of the wife, Yoo Mi-ri, the voice of compassion and reason and support as her husband digs a hole deeper and deeper (heh). I'll be watching this one again, I bet. Likely a few times. I stand by my reading that Yoo Mi is the hero of this movie, but in the end I was just happy to see the dogs back home. Scratch a Golden Retriever at your earliest convenience (and see this one in theatres)!

SORRY, BABY

Every now and again, a rare thing happens, where a movie is so earnest and perfect and naturalistically shot that I am fully immersed and lose myself and forget I am watching a movie. That was my experience of Sorry, Baby. Trigger warning for SA in big letters, because I have never watched a movie about an assault that so perfectly incapsulates the disorientation of trauma. As a survivor this movie was a catharsis the way any dark joke from a good friend might be. A debut for writer & director Eva Victor who I am making sure to mention because I want to remember so I can watch or read whatever she does next. Eva if for some reason you are reading this (don't read this my god you have better things to do) just.. keep making so many things. Eva also plays the lead! What the ever loving fuck. How does anyone even do both like that? Ugh. So much talent. Agnes is a real person, in my mind. Her friendship Lydie, played by Naomie Ackie, is deep and funny and relatable. The whole thing is intimate, and non-linear, and effective. I will be reccomending this movie- I will pass it like a love note to people I know who will be touched by it. It has a very specific sense of humour which worked for me one hundred percent. It is devoid of the violence of its subject matter which both makes it more chilling and centres the struggles of a victim forced to continue to live in a system that prevents consequence for such heinous acts and does not support survivors. I could go on forever. I won't. Bring your kitten to the grocery store, or eat a good sandwich on the side of the road. You deserve it.

BONUS BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW IF IT COUNTS:

WAKE UP DEAD MAN: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY

They wore me down, people! I finally like a Knives Out movie! Much like Boring Season itself, are these actually good now or have I been forced through enough hours of the Hollywood Slop to be partial to small nuggets of flavour in the gluey nothing content of it all? Who's to say? All I can tell you is that we have Josh O'Connor as a hot young idealistic former boxer tuned priest who goes head-to-head with Josh Brolin, an old priest who runs a fire-and-brimstone clergy with a million secrets and scores to settle. It makes use of its stacked cast this time, giving everyone a cartoony persona that is fun to accuse of murder. Masturbation jokes! Dick drawings! Daniel Craig's ridiculous Benoit Blanc accent! If you haven't watched any of the Knives Out movies before this, don't fret- mercifully these are stand-alone enough that I reccomend just heading straight in for this one. They aren't anything special in the cinematography department, but are very serviceable. They move along pace-wise. Again, heavy handed on the social commentary but I think Rian Johnson is properly wealthy now so.. it's just going to be that kind of dumb riskless winking at current political climates, aintit? Watch it with your mom or your aunt or your brother, an inoffensive box-office pleaser to put popcorn in your face to.

Aaaaaaand... that's all folks! I'll be slogging on through the month's award nominees for another few weeks. I also... only gave you what I found tolerable thus far! So let me know: Part. II should be... A) What I like out of the next batch of Boring Season watches B) What I despised this year in Boring Season Let me know in the comments! I will draw and Blog whatever you decide. May you watch some FILMS this year that do not make you want to tear out your eyes. Happy Boring Season, everyone!